How to find the WRONG guys...

the story of my life...


Many years ago, when I was even more naive than now (yes.. I was.. hard to believe I know.. lol)... I followed my heart and moved to Israel for a guy. Alright.. we were young and didn't know any better and I do not blame him at all, for this not working out.

For years, living in Israel, I went on bad dates, I don't even know, where to start... just let me tell you this much... having to pay for a coffee, taking the bus or taxi home after a date and being stood up, was a regular. Wanna get a funny example. Lets see. Alright here we go. I met this guy online, who's pic I really liked and we talked.... soon after, I met the same guy (the pic) on another dating site and figures.... same pic... two guys. Eventually we found out, who was the "cheater" and he was blocked from the site and the "real" guy decided, that he really enjoyed talking to me and would like to meet. He picked me up (wow.. big thing)... and took one look at me, deciding, that I won't be "the one"... (fair enough) but not only that.. he obviously decided, that I wasn't even the one to go out for a coffee. Instead of just saying so, we drove to Tel Aviv and him refusing to use paid parking, drove around, finding a spot. About 40 minutes later (and me getting a wee bit pissy, I even offered to pay for parking), he told me, that he is late for a meeting with friends.. and he will let me out here, so I can take a bus, because his friends are all the way up north and if he brings me home, he'll be late. I let me out, in the middle of the night on a dark street... all alone, no bus and no people around. I never talked to him again.

Again years later and getting slightly sick of Israeli guys, I went travelling to the US and fell in love with the country. (Not that I wasn't dreaming of becoming a cowgirl and live in the wilds of Texas as a kid.. lol.. but this time it was more real... if you know what I mean)... and.. I discovered... "Jewish American Men"...

So I was on a task... find the perfect guy in the US.... someone I could love and someone who would love me in return... and yes of course I wanted to move there... that's why I kind of stopped looking for guys in Israel.... come on.. what's the point in going out here with guys you can't stand... when maybe over the ocean, my dream guy is just waiting for me to make the first move...

Having lived in the US for some time, I was very familiar with CL (craigslist).. which, Israelis still aren't... ( at least not that much)... and there I was.. on the dream man quest.... I thought I put a pretty smart ad on CL and I did get a lot of replies.... most of them, not exactly what I wanted... some offering me marriage for money (no I am not THAT desperate!!!) others were just soo not my style... and I don't even talk looks.. just the way the behaved through writing...

While I stayed in San Diego, I met a guy online.... whom after some time, grew pretty fond on me... and we were chatting almost daily... After a few months and being back in Israel, we decided to meet and see, where this could go.. The deal was pretty simple... IF we click in real life too, he leaves Cali, I leave Israel and we move to Baltimore.

We never met, the first flight had to be cancelled due to the Second Lebanon War and the second flight due to his health... well... that's what he said... but I figured... as much as I liked the guy.... he could not be the ONE... I need someone who actually DOES.... blabla doesn't do it for me.

So.. the quest went on.. and I saw an ad on CL from a guy in the US who looked for "his Princess" in Israel.... hmm.. I wasn't very fond of his looks and actually I only wanted to help the poor guy, telling him, that 1. on CL Israel most girls won't look and 2. he doesn't want a "princess".... those girls are way too spoiled... and no fun. He should look for a real girl....

Well, you got it right.. we started to talk more and more.. and even though I didn't like his looks very much and he was (IMHO) way too old for me (I just don't manage with guys older than me.. sorry...) he was very good in telling "stories" and I enjoyed them.

End of story (well actually this is the beginning really)... we decided to meet...

He was supposed to come to Israel beginning of June but he had to postpone the flight for some weird reason.... (I later on found out .. what the REAL reason is...) anyways, he accused his ex gf of all kind of things and I found that all a bit disturbing, but who am I to ask.

So he arrived mid June and when I picked him up at the airport I knew right away, THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK.... but instead of listing to myself, I tried to be super polite.... We went to the Hostel, where I booked (and paid!!!) a room for him for the coming days and I told him, that I'll pick him up for dinner later on. I did make it pretty clear very soon, that we can be friends.. but nothing more and he was absolutely ok with it....

At first, he seemed like a funny guy and I didn't mind his company too much so after a few days I offered him to be my guest and stay at my place. (I am just too friendly sometimes.. geeez).... so he did.. and this is, where the story goes from bad to mad.

He not only smoked like a chimney (I am a total anti-smoker and I can't stand it)... he started to drink like a fish. And nope, not one of those cute Koi Fishies.. but really heavily.... (Side note for people who don't really know my story.. my mother was an alcoholic and passed away at the age of 54 due to liver cancer.. so you can understand, that I can't really stand brainless drinking)... Of course, I didn't say anything, it's his liver, his life, right?

After a week, he suddenly told me, that he is going to stay in Israel... "I am not going back to the US, I stay"... so I tried to help him, getting all the information to make Aliyah (Immigrate to Israel). During those very few days, he started to drink even more, it seemed, the more stress, the more beer this guy needed. One evening he went with a good friend of mine to the Ulpan (Hebrew Language School) and that evening he finally showed his REAL face. He was ranting about everything and everyone and told me, how unhelpful I was and that I am obligated to help him and actually do all the paper stuff and research for him. (yeah right.. sure..) Then he went on and on about how life has been unfair and that he is the only honest person and everyone around him only wants to harm him. In short, he is the angle and we are all evil.

I got so scared, I didn't even go to bed that night. I stayed up all night, sitting on the sofa, with the dogs, hoping he won't wake up.

In the morning, I sent him out, to get some fresh air.. so I could consult some friends.. they all told me, "he has to leave asap". Some even offered me, to kick him out. Now... this SHOULD have been the time to kick him out, but feeling guilty of him flying all the way to Israel and I let him down, I couldn't. He stayed another night. The next morning he started to verbally abuse me in such manners, that even I had enough and told him, he's got 30 minutes to leave or I call the police.

He did leave, cursing and spitting and screaming. He told me, that he hasn't got any money, which wasn't true, but of course he tried to get at least something out of me, but I told him, that this is his problem, a guy his age has to be able to take care of himself and he still got the ticket to fly home.

Obviously he didn't fly home. He immigrated to Israel with fake papers and he is still in the country.

Now.. here are some interesting facts.

About a week after he left (His flight back to the US was already "gone byebye") I called the Hostel, where I lived first, to see if he is still there and guess what, he worked there.

I got so scared, knowing that this crazy angry guy lives so close by, I started doing some research. I contacted with a fake Myspace Account the wife of his best friend. Pretending, that I met him in Israel and I just wanted to know how he was, because he acted a bit weird. Well from this message on, the floodgate of Hell opened.

End of story, I got in touch not only with the wife of his now EX best friend, but also with loads of other people who were involved with him in some sort of way. Figures, he wasn't Jewish, he never studied and he wasn't a Journalist. All he was and still is, is a pathological liar. He takes the identities and stories of others and makes them HIS. He turns things around, so they suit him best and because he truly believes in what he is saying, people actually believe him.

I had immigration police on him, but they are not worth 5 Cents.... they know he committed Immigration Fraud and yet, he got his ID and he got money from the government, which all Immigrants get to have an easy start.

It is pretty unbelievable, how this guy has managed for over 40 years, lying and cheating his way through life. At first I was very angry, now I actually pity him for not being able to stand up and be "a man".

I also know, that I was very lucky, getting out so fast and unharmed. Hearing stories of others who met him, I thank G-D for looking after me so good. After some while I started to see more of the whole puzzle and I realized, he was absolutely not interested in me as a woman, all he wanted was a cheap live/eat/citizenship girl. He thought, that I would be naive enough and believe in what he says and marry him. Of course, for a guy who is in so much legal trouble in the US, I was an amazing catch. Being Swiss of course he thought I was loaded and owning a private house isn't too bad either of course.

Now, here is where he made some big mistakes. First: He told me, he was Jewish. Being Jewish but raised Catholic, I went to Jewish School in Jerusalem and I learned... EVERYTHING.. trust me.. I know much more, than the average Israeli (and yup... even quite a lot of religious ones). So any mistake, when it comes to Judaism and how to live it and behave, I catch you. And so I did. He had all kind of pathetic excuses which I didn't believe for a second. Second: I never trust a drunk, seeing my mom drunk all my life, I know what that means and I would never ever get involved with a drunk (even if he would be the most amazing guy... friends.. yes... love.. no way) He knew about my mom's history.. he knew, that I would find out very fast, what really is going on. Drunks can't hide for too long, especially not, when you can spot them as good as people like me. Third: My dogs hated him. Always trust your animals, they can feel, if someone's a good person. Judge a person by the behavior of your animals.

Fourth: (and IMHO his biggest mistake) He trusted me a wee bit too much (or he just thought I was an idiot Blonde). He told me too many details about his life. It was very easy for me to find people who were involved with him and make a list of all the things he let out. Together with those new amazing, honest and carrying friends, we solved the puzzle.

This is not the end... but I am pretty sure, he will make more mistakes and finally have to give up, leave the country and go back to the US, where jail time is waiting for him and for his victims finally justice.

What have I learned from all this? Never trust a man?? Well I kind of knew that before... (kiddin').. No, honestly, I did learn a very important lesson. Not that this is new, but if he sounds too good, he probably is. And... you can't force "finding love".. Love will find you when the time is right. The older I get, the more I understand this. When I was young, I tried to force my love on others, tried to make them love me, well that is never working and it better not, because this would most certainly be a very sad love story.

Love comes, when we least expect it and it will knock us off our heels Ladies!!!

And.. another important thing, I would say, the most important an I would say, amazing lesson I have learned.... if you stop looking at the negative experiences and you look for the positive ones, you'll see, that actually not only did I get out unharmed, but I met some awsome people who became great friends!! I love you very much guys!!!  Besitos :)

So, for now, I am on a dating strike... (lol) sounds bad, but it isn't. I am way too busy with my own life and I realized, that I have to look after myself first. If I don't who will? Now, don't worry, I will put my sexy heels and my little black one on again, when the time and place is right. But for now, I am quite happy with what I have and I am way too busy planning my move and opening a biz in the US. Once that is done, I have my head and for sure my heart again open for the future Mr. Muus....